My mother recently told me that my identical twin sister, Danielle, and I have an odd relationship. According to my mother this is because we give each other expensive gifts for holidays and our birthday, we talk everyday even though we live in different states, and we get more angry if someone slights our twin then if that same person slighted us. My mother said that she thinks this is the same relationship that a married couple should have, not siblings. This is where the argument started with my mother. Danielle and I are identical twins; this means that we have identical DNA and that even though we do not look exactly alike anymore everyone can still tell that we are twins. So, why should a married couple have a closer relationship than my twin and I?
Danielle and I grew up together and before the age of fourteen the most amount of time we had spent apart was one night and until the end of our junior year of college the most amount of time we had spent apart was one week. People always ask us if we can read each other's minds or feel each other's pain; while we cannot do these things and I think twins who say they can are crazy, we can tell what the other is thinking when we are in the same situation because we are generally thinking the same thing. Since we have the same facial expressions a look can often convey more than words between us. So, why is that my mother thinks a married couple can only give expensive presents, talk everyday, and take up for their partner?
I suppose that since my mother is not a twin and had eleven siblings she does not understand the closeness that twins feel. She had lots of siblings to hang out with when she was young, while up until my little brother was born, when we were nearly five, we only had eachother. My mother's siblings were much older than her too. She was the eleventh child born in her family and she was picked on quite a bit by her siblings. So, by the time she was in her twenties she was married and finally had a relationship that was as close as the relationship my twin and I have. While I think my mother simply does not understand the closeness that Danielle and I have I do think that she also wishes she could have had that closeness with one of her siblings because she did have a very rough childhood and a close relationship with one of her siblings would have made that childhood much easier.
Hi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteThis is Dr. Kirklighter. I like your post about your twin and your right to bear expensive gifts. I think you may want to give the others your blog address. I think that I put the invite url on the paper instead, and some individuals might have a difficult time signing on to you.
Dr. Kirklighter
Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post. I think my twin cousins Sara and Cara would have to agree with you, as my time around them has shown me that twins most definitely share a very rare connection. During the holidays, when my family always gets together, the twins always cracked me up, because when one of them told a story, both of them told the story, switching lines recklessly, and often stepping on each others toes, but always leading to a very interesting and funny tale.
Though my brother and I are not twins, just like you and your sister, we only had each other to play with when we were young. Growing up, my family lived out of town in the country, with no other younger families as neighbors, which resulted in no neighborhood kids but my brother and I. During this time, we definitely made a strong connection with each other that most siblings never have the opportunity too develop. Overall, I would say that we are both lucky for having such a strong relationship with our siblings, as it seems the older I get, the more I need family to remind me of what I am, and what I once was.
Ashley, thank you for sharing this insight, and I look forward to reading more of your posts in the future.
This is really interesting. As an only child, the entire sibling "thing" is completely foreign to me, so I'm always fascinated by people explaining those relationships. I can't begin to imagine just "normal" siblings, much less having a twin - I think it's one of those things you can't relate to unless you're in that position. I agree, though, that bond must be totally in its own category. Who's to say you shouldn't be close like that? It must be nice having that constant, unflappable backup who's experiencing life at the same time and stage you are. Very interesting.
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